tauntaun

KVOE News reporter AJ Dome and I have been trading “It’s so cold” ideas this morning.

You would, too, if Alaska was warmer than Emporia, Kan.

I woke up this morning to an air temperature of -10. That slid to -13 before sunrise.

Wind chills? All the way down to -28.

Temperatures in central Alaska today: Topping out at 25.

It’s the coldest air we have had in several years. In fact, it’s the coldest on record for Emporia since the 1950s.

Lord knows where things would stand if the National Weather Service had some records for cold weather between 1980 and 1996, when I vividly remember 1983 (-15 air temperature, -72 WCI on Christmas Eve) and 1989 (-19 in mid-December).

There is nothing fun about this. With snow, you can slip and slide and throw and make snow angels and be a kid.

With the cold, all you do is shiver. Watch your nose turn blue or something. Feel the life drain out of you.

“Use the force, Luke.” “I can’t, Master Yoda. It’s frozen.”

At least we should be back in normal ranges for temperatures the next few days.

And, by the way, here is what we have come up with so far:

It’s so cold that…

1. Squirrels chewed through power lines to keep warm.
2. People are reconsidering their allegiances to Starbucks.
3. Penguins are comfortable wandering around town.
3a. Penguins are sticking their beaks on light poles to see what it’s like to get stuck.
4. Steak can freeze in under 10 minutes.
5. You can freeze an egg.
6. Metallica has announced they are playing their next concert here.
7. We have seen tauntauns. Honest.

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